Wedding Reception

Today we went to an afternoon wedding reception, the first time we've gone to a formal event as a new family.  I wasn't too worried, because it was an afternoon event, (as opposed to an evening full out gala), a nice party with food and drinks for all the people who weren't able to fly across the country for their actual wedding 4 months ago.

And Cupcake looked a-dora-ble!  I know I'm biased, but she was the cutest baby within a 10 block radius.  She had a white dress some Argentinian friends got her from a nice boutique there (so it has that wonderful handmade quality), and a white headband.  Usually I'm against headbands, and think the poor babies in them look like their head is split in two, but I take it all back, the headband really tied the outfit together.

Also, another gigantic milestone: I fit into my pre-pregnancy lil' black dress!  Just one of the many amazing things about breastfeeding, at least in my case I eat, eat, eat, and I keep losing weight.  I want to keep nursing her if only for the extra calories it burns (and the health aspects for the baby, of course, I'm not THAT shallow).

I don't know what the bride and groom's family must have thought about us, though.  We were the only people with a baby, we sat her at the bar while she was munching on apple slices, then put her on a baby carrier so she could nap while we still mingled, I drank wine, then we found a quiet side room and breastfed her (while still in my cocktail dress), then we danced around with her.  Did we achieve looking carefree and delighted with our own daughter, or were we those crazy parents that start the cautionary tales?  I don't want to find out.  We had fun, our friends were happy to have us there, and it was a wonderful afternoon.

At the end of the day, we are true attachment parents.  Our baby goes wherever we go, and as long as her needs are met (food, sleep, clean diapers), her entertainment can be following mom and dad around.  I think she had a blast, and the moment she began to be fussy I put her in her baby carrier so she could feel close to me and protected.

Babywearing an under-the-weather baby

If I wasn't enough of a baby-wearing fan, I can now add a new dimension:  keeping your sanity while your baby is sick.

Cupcake's had a cold, which I talked about on my last entry.   So, as anyone who's feeling yucky, she wants to be held more.  So I've been using our sling a lot, the same one I maligned before because it's on the big side.  The thing with this sling is that I can't take it outside, it just doesn't feel secure.  However, in the safety of home, when Cupcake wants to be cradled, its the perfect thing.

I'll just bounce on our yoga ball, and have her on the sling.  Sometimes she falls asleep on it, other times it's just not comfortable so I'll have to get her out and hold her on my lap on the couch.  The house is falling apart, but I could care less.  Cupcake is sick, and I want to make sure she's as comfortable as possible.  I mean, when I get sick, I like attention and hugs (really, I want my mommy).  So why wouldn't my baby be any different?

I've also been using the Ergo a lot, since she also naps on that.  The main problem is that she's been needing me to be moving-moving-constantly-in-motion. It's okay, it's what she needs.

We also hit a baby-wearing milestone, if you can call it that.  Yesterday, while she was sleeping on the ergo, I managed to successfully use the bathroom without waking.  I'm not sure if it was an inevitable turn of events, but I'm still amused that it happened.

So, yay for baby-wearing.  Not just for carrying the baby outside.  If it wasn't for my carriers, my arms would be falling off right about now.  I love holding her, but I can't wait until she's feeling better and wants to play on the floor again.

Getting the hang of the Ergo

Finally!  We did it!

Cupcake has taken to the Ergo carrier, and will now stay happily on it for long periods on time.  On Saturday she even fell asleep on it when we went out.  And once we got home she stayed napping for her usual 40 minutes, even though she was bundled up for the outdoors.

This is a new chapter in our baby wearing and our mobility.  I will once again be able to take her places without worrying about taking the stroller down our stairs.  We used to do fine with the moby and/or bjorn, but at some point she stopped napping on it, and it became very limiting since I'd have to make sure we were back by nap time or risk a total meltdown.   I think I still prefer the stroller, since there's no constant weight on me and she naps beautifully on it, but it's nice to know that once again we can hop outside for a quick errand.

Parenting philosophies

It seems that every parenting instinct has a name theses days.  Not just a name, but also a title, a website, and rabid advocacy on the internet.  While trying to figure out some standard timetable for developmental milestones, and also browsing through the many many parenting blogs, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not sure in which category I fall.

Does the fact that we co-sleep, breastfeed and I baby-wear cupcake mean we are attachment parents?  I mean, I related to many of the basic ideas of Attachment Parenting, but then again, we dont really subscribe to the green/cloth diaper aspect of things.  I would like to, but my sanity has its limits.  We also use pacifiers, and have no issues with strollers, swings, and the like.

What does it say about us when we decided to not let Cupcake "Cry it Out".  Is this a reflection of our parenting philosophy, or simply the result of having a baby that never gave us serious sleep problems.

Where do we fit the fact that cupcake got her ears pierced at 3 months?  We messed with the sanctity of what "god" gave her.  (I use the word god loosely, as I am a devoted Atheist yet Nate is a spiritual Christian,  so who knows what will happen with Cupcake when she's older?  That's a topic for many many more blog entries in the future).

And then there's the issue that one's attitude towards a small baby is very different from that regarding a toddler, preschooler, newborn, teenager, adult, etc.

So far I want to address Cupcake's needs as she  needs them.  Because of MCAD we have a feeding schedule (rather than feeding on demand, like La Leche League and similar lactivists advocate).  But she sleeps and wakes on demand.  The only real sleep training we're doing is that we've made no effort to make her bedtime any earlier, so she goes down for the night at around 10 pm.  But I hold her when she needs it, try to give her space when she needs it, change her as she needs it, or at least I try to do all these things when she seems to need it.  Seriously, who knows what she actually needs.

So... do we qualify as Attachment Parents?  And based on how exaggerated and controversial so many of them tend to be... do we even want to?

Babywearing

We've been having some problems lately on the baby wearing front.  I am completely pro-carrier, and think these are the greatest thing ever invented since sliced bread.  Actually, since carriers harken back to a simpler time in human development, they were around before sliced bread.  But I digress.

The problem lately is that cupcake is getting gigantic.  Not so big considering she's not even 4  months yet, but definitely big for her age.  So at her 3 month check she was 14.5 lbs. , which means that by now, at the rate of 7 oz per week, she must be getting close to 16 lbs.  Definitely getting tougher to carry her these days.

Which would be where the carriers come in.  However, we seem to be having problems with them.  So allow me to go through my personal experiences with these carriers.

Moby Wrap - I freaking love this thing.  So simple yet so versatile.  Of course, I also got it as a gift, so who knows how frustrated i would have been to pay good money for a glorified piece of jersey fabric.  I wish I has started using it sooner, but I was intimidated by all the fabric, since it has a steep learning curve.  When cupcake was smaller (in size), she would fall asleep in minutes when put in the cradle hold.  As she's gotten bigger, I've struggled to find other holds to help her fall asleep.  The wrap still works, and it's still wonderful to distribute Cupcake's weight evenly on my back, but she just won't fall asleep on it anymore.  Maybe in a few weeks, she'll grow into a new position.  Pros: very safe, adjustable, easy to take in bag, lots of holds, great for newborns, distributes weight evenly.  Cons: difficult to put on, hard to roll so much fabric, fabric stretches after too many uses.

Baby Bjorn - Wonderful, and I cannot say enough good things about it.  Except maybe for the fact that if you have a large baby (as we do), you'll grow out of this carrier sooner.  It has to do with the weight distribution, and the bjorn is a shoulder based carrier.  So, as a woman, I feel myself getting sore by the time we get back home, while Nate can hold her for hours on end and be fine.  I love the bjorn because it's so easy to put on, and because it has the option to put the baby front facing, which Cupcake loves. One of my current issues, though, is that she will no longer fall asleep on it, which makes for some annoying walks if they are around her nap time.   Pros: convenient, sturdy, front and back facing, neck support for infants, adjustable for size.  Cons: shoulders sore after a while, inconvenient to take in bag, better for smaller babies.

Sling medium - we got a really crappy sling as a baby gift, and we used it some when Cupcake was very little.  It worked great because it's very easy to put on, and very easy to take off.  And, when cupcake was tiny and needed to be held ALL the time, it was a good imitator of my arms cradling her.  Otherwise, we had the wrong one.  Ours was made of a stiff fabric, so it didn't mold to her needs.  I've seen some slings made of a stretchy jersey fabric (similar to the Moby) that seems a lot more comfortable.   It served a purpose, but now Cupcake has completely grown out of it to fall asleep, and it never fit Nate.  Once she gets bigger, we can use it again to prop her on our hip, but for now its been rendered pretty useless.  Pros: easy to put on and place baby.  Cons:  distributes weight unevenly, not adjustable, fabric too stiff, only good for two holds.

Sling big - this was also a baby gift, from Peru.  And we didn't use it much because it was too big, and Cupcake would kinda get lost in the shuffle.  We were afraid she'd suffocate under all that fabric.  Now that she's huge and due to sleep regression issues wants to be held a lot more to sleep, I've found that it's the perfect size.  Also, for this specific one, I love the fabric pattern.  Pros: great for older babies, cradles large baby, easy to put on, easy to take in bag.  Cons: distributes weight unevenly, not adjustable, only good for cradling

Ergo - this is our new purchase, which we got because everyone raved about how awesome it is.  So far Cupcake has not taken to it well, and based on many conversations about it with friends, she might be still a liiiiiiitle bit too small in size for it.   But I'm hoping that this one will help us with the dreaded nap issue though.  My friend Kate swears by it, and says her son will zonk out within minutes on the Ergo.  I need a carrier that she can stay on while awake and asleep.  I like it so far, the shoulder straps are nicely padded, and most of the weight rests on a waist belt, which is much better for a woman's center of gravity.  We shall see how she takes to it in the next few weeks.