It seems that every parenting instinct has a name theses days. Not just a name, but also a title, a website, and rabid advocacy on the internet. While trying to figure out some standard timetable for developmental milestones, and also browsing through the many many parenting blogs, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not sure in which category I fall.
Does the fact that we co-sleep, breastfeed and I baby-wear cupcake mean we are attachment parents? I mean, I related to many of the basic ideas of Attachment Parenting, but then again, we dont really subscribe to the green/cloth diaper aspect of things. I would like to, but my sanity has its limits. We also use pacifiers, and have no issues with strollers, swings, and the like.
What does it say about us when we decided to not let Cupcake "Cry it Out". Is this a reflection of our parenting philosophy, or simply the result of having a baby that never gave us serious sleep problems.
Where do we fit the fact that cupcake got her ears pierced at 3 months? We messed with the sanctity of what "god" gave her. (I use the word god loosely, as I am a devoted Atheist yet Nate is a spiritual Christian, so who knows what will happen with Cupcake when she's older? That's a topic for many many more blog entries in the future).
And then there's the issue that one's attitude towards a small baby is very different from that regarding a toddler, preschooler, newborn, teenager, adult, etc.
So far I want to address Cupcake's needs as she needs them. Because of MCAD we have a feeding schedule (rather than feeding on demand, like La Leche League and similar lactivists advocate). But she sleeps and wakes on demand. The only real sleep training we're doing is that we've made no effort to make her bedtime any earlier, so she goes down for the night at around 10 pm. But I hold her when she needs it, try to give her space when she needs it, change her as she needs it, or at least I try to do all these things when she seems to need it. Seriously, who knows what she actually needs.
So... do we qualify as Attachment Parents? And based on how exaggerated and controversial so many of them tend to be... do we even want to?
Current research (LOL, it is always changing!) states that parents should be reacting to an infants cries b/c it makes them feel safe. The letting the baby "cry out" is no longer what people are recommended to do. I think this does make a great deal of sense! Allowing a baby to "cry it out", I believe, made us all a little uncomfortable, and for good reason. As far as co-sleeping, experts advise against this as it is believed to cause emotional issues and possibly strangulation or suffocation. Other cultures do co-sleep, however they have different bedding, surroundings, factors etc. that may lead to why it is beneficial. I have read where parents do transitional phases so that children are able to eventually sleep alone. The only issue I have seen in my personal life is that the parents often do it for their own selfish comforts and it turns into their children still sleeping in their beds when the child is no longer a baby...For example: Women whose husbands are deployed in the military. In the end, I believe that the labels really do not matter, a parent has to take the research and then decide what feels right for them and their babies/children. Interesting blog! =)
ReplyDeleteI know, doesn't the research always change?! I decided a long time ago regarding sleeping experts that the day they were the ones waking up at 3am in my house, then I'd take their opinions as gospel :) Thanks for the feedback!
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