On weaning

Man, I think I'm gonna have to make an appointment with our Metabolic doctor soon, because Cupcake is showing sings of weaning.   At the ripe old age of 9 months.  

I'm having very conflicted feelings about this, which I'm sure it's normal.

Currently we nurse at 9 am (wake up time). 12:30 or1pm, 4pm, 7pm and 9:30pm (bedtime), 12:30 pm, (dream feed)  4:30 ish (if she only wakes up once a night, which... riiiight... it's the best case scenario).

(As an aside, I'd like to share that technically, Cupcake can go longer between feeds - we're at 8 hours overnight- and doesn't metabolically need the midnight feed.  But we do it anyway, because otherwise she'd wake up at 2am, just as I am reaching my own REM sleep.  We have to work together, child.   But even though medically she could sleep longer, she seems to still get hungry during the night, after about 5 hours.  You can't convince me that MCAD is unrelated to to appetite.  I was told that the only issue with her MCAD is to feed her, so if she's hungry, homegirl is getting milk.  Hopefully this will sort itself out as she gets older.)

Aside over.  

So we've been having lots of trouble with the bedtime feed.   Cupcake is tired, fussy, and my letdown is super slow at the end of the day.  Also, and this might be the biggest factor, she usually has dinner with us at about 8 pm.  I'm beginning to think that milk at 7, solids at 8, and then again milk at 9:30... maybe not such a good idea.  By the time bedtime comes along she's probably not that hungry.  She'll usually eat, but more and more often she likes to be at the boob, but gets frustrated after a few minutes.  We go on with the routine and read books instead, and she doesn't seem too upset about it.  Seriously, sometimes she skips her bedtime milk,  which I thought was supposed to be the sacred one.

I'm thinking of combining the 4 pm and 7 pm nursing sessions.   As it is, the 4 pm is a complicated one too.  The way her naps work, I end up combining her 4 pm milk with her solid lunch sometimes.  And as we are usually out at the park at this time, she doesn't seem to interested in breastfeeding.   So maybe I'll just do one nursing session at about 5:30 or 6 pm, so that by the time bedtime comes along she'll actually hungry.

We'll see.  I'm hoping that in response to this adjusted feeding schedule, her naps will reorganize as well, and she'll go into two longer naps, instead of the current three.

Next week there's a La Leche League meeting.  I'll be curious what they have to say about it.  I'm fine with weaning.  Though I love breastfeeding, I'm not particularly interested in extended nursing.  I mean, if Cupcake has a hard time letting go, I'll keep giving her the boob as long as needed, but I have a feeling that won't be THAT long.  She likes real food way too much.

Eating solids

Among the things I'm grateful for:  Cupcake loooves eating food.  If you're gonna have an FaOD child, where your doctors instructions are pretty much "make sure they're eating", it sure helps to have a kid that takes so well to food.

It's not anything we've done, I'm afraid, she just likes putting things in her mouth and swallowing them.  Our current routine is that I breastfeed her when she wakes up from sleeping (roughly 9:30, 12:30, 4, 7, 9:30), and twice a day, about an hour after she's had her milk, I give her solids.  We're going with the idea that under one years old, food = fun, and she isn't really getting nutritional value from the food.

And it is fun.  It's amazing seeing her taste things, make faces of curiosity when we introduce new foods, sometimes she even grabs her own spoon and puts it in her mouth.  When we are out and she sees us get out her plate and a banana, she gets super excited and eager for her food.  Where does it come from?  How does she know so well what food entails?

We started her when she was about 5 1/2 months old, and at the time we'd have about one meal a day, and at that only a few spoonfuls.  She wasn't 6 months yet, but she was just soooo curious about everything that went into our plates and mouths, it seemed only fair.   By now she has two meals a day, of about 4 oz each.  I guess she could eat more, but I'm taking it easy.  Sometimes she doesn't even finish her 4oz, and other times it seems that it's not enough.  It changes per day, probably in direct relation to how much she's been jumping on her exersaucer.

So far she loves bananas (and she can eat an whole one, where in her stomach does that even fit?), apple sauce, pears, apple slices, her favorite by far is sweet potatoes (I can mix them with anything to introduce a new food), butternut squash, carrots, yellow squash, peas, parsnips, and she'll tolerate brown rice when it's mixed with a vegetable.  She also tried spinach (mixed with apple sauce, she loved it), but it seemed to not agree with her digestive system.  Ditto for yogurt, which gave her explosive diapers, and I don't really enjoy cleaning doodoo from onesies, so I don't think she'll be eating yogurt for a while.  We tried avocado a month ago and she didn't like it.  Time to try it again....

I make all her food, and so far it's been very easy.  A couple of times a week, while I'm making our dinner, I'll steam or boil a veggie for her, and them I'll mash/blend/food mill it.  Then I freeze it in ice cube trays and store it in zip lock bags.  When it's time for her to eat, I just warm them up in the microwave.  Too simple right?  I was expecting to put more effort into making her food, and I'm happy to report that this is simple stuff. 

So far, Cupcake  hasn't had a single jar of food, which I'm pretty proud of.

She'll be 8 month next week, and we're ready now for the next stage.  Some chicken, maybe beef, and more grains?  Chunkier purees?  Her food is pretty chunky as it is, so I'm not sure how to proceed next.   Suggestions?

New Schedule

I'm trying to figure out a new schedule for Cupcake, and I'm still hesitant to try it out.  I'm not sure why.  

She's fine, we're fine, let's not rock the boat, right?  Except that now she's sleeping longer naps (finally!  hour long naps!), and because of solids we need longer time between feeds.  I'm trying to not interfere with her breast milk intake, so I'm not feeding her food less than an hour before she's due to nurse.  This, of course, presents it's own set of logistical problems, because she'll oversleep, or we have plans out of the house, etc etc.  If my entire life was only about her food and sleep we'd be fine, but as I've discussed a couple of days ago, I need some other distractions in my life. 

Thankfully, her MCAD hasn't presented itself in a dramatic way, so we can be a bit more flexible now with her feeds.  We can go 6 hours without food, which gives a gigantic leeway throughout the day, and it's a bit overwhelming to have such freedom.  I'm realizing now that many of our early schedule/parental decisions were based on her medical condition.  I'm also realizing that we set up a day schedule about 5 months ago and haven't updated it too drastically.   It's time.

For starters, she's waking up earlier now.  Her nighttime sleep is now about 10pm - 9 am.(not straight through).   I'm thinking of going 3.5 hours between daytime feeds instead of every 3 hours, and I'm hoping that the extra half hour will give us more breathing room between nursing sessions.

I'm also torn because I always wanted to be one of those attachment parents who feed on demand (it's the best for milk supply, right?), but when we got the MCAD diagnosis we had to change our plans.  Not that you can't feed on demand with an FOD, but the practical implications were too much for me.  In order to make sure she wasn't going longer than 3 hours throughout the day (we'd been told 3 -4 hours, and we decided with our metabolic doctor to do 3 during the day and 4 at night), I would have to keep track of every time she was eating.  It was so stressful to have to worry of when she ate last, where the notebook was, had it been too long, not long enough, finally I just decided to set up a schedule and stick to it.  It was the best decision we could have made.  We had regular nursing sessions, I knew what to expect, and I wasn't constantly concerned that she would go into fasting mode.  However, now that she's 7 months old I can actually feed on demand, since the threat of fasting isn't as imminent, but I fear that I won't recognize her hunger signs and I'd be overwhelmed by deciphering is she's hungry, tired, bored, achy, etc.

So.... I'm gonna run through some options and see if they logistically work.

9 am wake up ... 9:30 milk  ... 10:30 food ... 10:45-11:00 am nap (wake up at noon?)  ... 1pm milk ... 2pm food  ...  2:30 nap (wake up at 3:30?) ... 4:30 milk  ...6 pm nap (wake at 7pm?) mmmm... usually she nurses at 9:30, but that would be 4.5 hours from her last session, and though that's acceptable by MCAD standards, I don't think it's gonna work for for her.     

9am wake up ....  Milk between 9 am - 10 am based on hunger cues  ... 10:30 am food  ... 11:00am nap (wake up 12?)  1:00 milk  1:30 food   2:30 nap (wake up 3:30?)  nurse 5 pm  6 pm nap 8:30 milk? .... won't work, it's not her bedtime.

I'm gonna try working back from her bedtime.

9:30-10  pm last milk.....   7 pm milk   6 - 7 pm last nap.  3:30 pm milk  nap 2:30-3 pm   12 noon milk  9-10 food.... this looks all scrambled, but to put it in order:

wake up: 9 ish.   

Milk: 9-9:30am   

Nap: 11 - 12  

Milk: 12 noon   

Food: 1 pm   

Nap: 2:30-3:30pm   

Milk: 3:30pm   

Food: 4 pm  

Nap: 6-7 pm  

Milk: 7 pm  

Food Snack: 8:30pm    

Last Milk Feed: 9:45pm

Bed: 10 pm

Dream Feed Milk: 12midnight

Milk: 6am

I realize that the 6 hour span between midnight and 6 am is a bit of a joke at the moment, but that's what we're aiming for.  Let's give this slightly modified schedule a try... since it's based on the natural schedule she seems to be taking.  We shall see how it works.

Dropping the 4th nap

I feel so silly that it didn't occur to us sooner, but dropping the 4th nap has made our nighttime routine so much better!  She used to have a nap about 2 - 1.5 hours before her final bedtime.  We needed it, without it she would get overtired and she was just very unhappy during her bath and nighttime routine.  But then when she turned about 5 months we began to have problems going to bed at night (it would take about 40 minutes).  And waking through the night too, but I now realize that those are probably unrelated.

And after reading/skimming through 3 different sleep books, and talking to some fellow moms, I began to realize that Cupcake probably wasn't very sleepy at the end of the day.  She was tired, because she'd been "up" for 12 hours, but she wasn't "sleepy" because it had only been 1.5 hours since she woke up from her last nap.  And this was a problem.  So we dropped the last nap, and moved her 3rd nap to about an hour later.  Ha ha, I say this as if she actually follows her baby-led nap schedule, but at least now I have a better idea of what I'm aiming for.

The first couple of days it was tough to keep her up at the end of the day, since she was getting fussy.  But she quickly got used to the idea.  Now she takes her  last nap at 6 pm, wakes at 7 pm and is up until she goes to bed between 9:30 - 10 pm.  She's great at her bath, super active, and as we dry her, do massage and put on pajamas, she gets a bit cranky, so I nurse her.  She's happy again, and we read a couple of books.  And by the time the books are done she's pretty tired, and it's been taking Nate no longer than 10 minutes or so to put her to bed.  It's lovely.  No crying, minimal fussing, and by 10 she's usually out and we have 2 whole hours to ourselves to spend together.  Yes, we're night owls, I don't even get tired before 11:30 and if I try to go to bed before midnight I just sit awake for a long long time. 

I'm just glad we realized that her sleep needs were shifting.  And thanks to all our sleep info, I feel like we are a bit more in control of her naps.  Right now, for example, she's napping in her crib again, after pretty much refusing to do it for a week there.  It's so nice to have some time off.

Sleep issues, reading Ferber

So against everything I believed, I've been reading the Ferber book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems.  A friend loaned it to me with glowing recommendations, after I confided in her how Cupcake has been waking up so many times at night.   She told me that she was adamantly against CIO (Cry It Out) too, but after actually reading the book, it's much different than the media makes it out to be, and she's been happy with the results.

That's a good recommendation as any, and while I was skeptical, there's no harm in reading a borrowed book.  I can read about how to solve sleep problems while in bed, right?  There's no irony there whatsoever.

It's strange, I was expecting to hate everything about Richard Ferber, but so far I'm just really interested in the entire theory of sleep patterns and how they mature and change as the baby gets older.  It really explains why Cupcake was such a great sleeper when she was younger, and how physiologically her body is changing and causing sleep disturbances.  I like the fact that he's an actual doctor citing her sleep research, and giving actual statistics and data.  One of the things I find frustrating about Parenting books is that they pretend to give you an overall parenting philosophy.   I mean, who are these authors?  Unless they have the credentials to back themselves up, then they are just citing circumstantial evidence and preaching it as facts.

One of the things I liked about Ferber is that he doesn't preach a parenting philosophy.  He shares his sleep research, gives his take on what patterns are emerging in a child's sleep and then gives his recommendation on a potential solution to the "problem."  He also explains which sleep behaviors are normal, which are "normal" but don't have to be, and which can be a cause of concern where parents should begin to look for underlying causes.  He has no opinions on feeding schedules, discipline issues, daytime parenting.. blah blah, he's merely interested in sleep and its patterns.  That's nice.

I'm still not sold on CIO as a viable solution for us.  But reading Ferber's book is making me realize that we have "sleep associations" for Cupcake.  And the rocking her to sleep thing had been working great so far, but it might be keeping her from settling back to sleep at night, now that her body has matured and stays longer times in the light sleep phase.  So we need to create a new sleep association that she can replicate on her own.

So far, we are going to transition slowly.  Rock her for shorter amounts of time, and then set her down when she's drowsy, and then patting her and singing.  There might be some crying, but we need to be there for her.  I can't just leave her on her own, not deliberately if I'm up for dealing with her.  (I've left her to cry before, but that's been on particularly hectic afternoons where I just couldn't handle her anymore and needed some time to regroup.  I can't see myself leaving her to cry alone as a methodology.  Not yet, at least).  Hopefully, this will help her fall asleep without needing to be rocked, so when she wakes at night, she can resettle without our help.  A girl can wish.

I should add that I've been reading the new edition of the Ferber book.  It's my understanding that the original 1985 version was much harsher and dogmatic.  In fact, he has an entire chapter in this book devoted to "explaining" himself and how his ideas were misunderstood.  The new edition is much warmer and caring, emphasizing a loving night time routine and a need for the baby to feel constantly loved and reassured by their parents.  It is also incredibly open to co-sleeping, bed sharing and all styles of parenting.  The book explains how to apply new sleep associations for every family arrangement, which is refreshing.  I don't like being told what to do, but I appreciate someone giving me the tools to apply my own solutions.

Who would've thought I'd be okay with Ferber?   More on our sleeping saga as it progresses.

Sleep problems

They say that whatever sleep "technique" you are using is alright if it works for you.  And every baby has a different temperament, and every family has different style.  That's why I've always been wary of all the literature out there to sleep train.  Oh, and the MCADD, which means that we still have to feed at night.

But whatever we are doing is not working for us right now.  What to do?  Have we taught her really bad sleeping habits?  (On that note, is it possible to treat an FOD baby to the  "normal" sleep training techniques?  We have to feed her on regular intervals.)

She used to sleep fine, waking up a couple of times a night when she was due for a feed.  It's like her internal clock knew to expect the next meal.  But this last couple of week have been bad.  She keeps randomly waking up, we adjust her paci, sometimes that's not enough and I have to feed her.

In a couple of weeks, we'll be meeting with her Metabolic Specialist, and they should be giving us the go-ahead to go 5 hours between feeds (and in another month 6, then 7, then 8!!!).  But I can't help but think that it sounds like a bit of a joke.  Riiiight.... She won't sleep 5 hours in a row...  We haven't had to wake her to eat in a while.  Since we stopped setting the alarm a couple of months ago, we've let her hunger cues wake us.  Usually it's every 4 hours at night.  It's been 4.5 or even 5 a few times, but not usually.  And the last couple of weeks, it's been every 2-3 hours.

She also was sick last week.  Is that why her sleep patterns are still messed up?  Is this a temporary issue until her body completely rids itself of all traces of the virus?

Or, the more typical culprit, is it a growth spurt?  I know there's supposed to be one at around 6 months.  It would explain why she's nursing sooooo much at night. It would also mean it's temporary, which would be wonderful

Or maybe we need to go back to co-sleeping.  Or move the crib to her own area of the room.  I don't like this second option because we still have to nurse twice a night, and I'd rather not have to *get up* for that.  But I'm not too excited to bed share again, I've enjoyed these last few weeks where we sprawl and take over our mattress.

I don't like second guessing so much.  Ha ha, I better get used to it, it's part of this whole parenting gig, right?
We are thinking of trying the No Cry Sleep Solution, from the Baby Whisperer books, as soon as Cupcake and I make it to the library.

Will that even work with an FOD kid?  I fear that Cupcake will wake up, we will get her back asleep, only to have to wake her after an hour and half to feed.  Something about that feels very counterproductive.  More on this as it progresses.