Friday, February 4, 2011

Tired arms

Cupcake needs to be held.  She needs to be bounced.  She wants to be close to me at all times.  She needs to be held for virtually every nap.  She's getting big, and heavy.  She likes to kick me on the c-section scar.

I'm so tired of holding her.  My arms are burning and my scar is irritated.  The weight is getting to me, and I just don't have any strength left.  I feel spent

I've never been the parent  who could do CIO, but when Friday rolls around, and I"ve been dealing with her all week, I feel tempted.  Of course, doing CIO without an actual plan to follow through is just plain cruel.  I don't know what to do.  She used to be so chill and easy, and now it feels exhausting to spend the whole day with her.

A part of me realizes that I should cherish these moments, that they will never be here again, that she'll never be this little again or need me the same way.  I feel like a terrible mother for being sick of it.

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